Nuns n Fun my memoir chapter 1

Chapter I

I am born again.

For no better reason than the guy offering was hawt and I was in no mood to argue. Beware, if it talks like a monk, acts like a monk, looks like a monk, to the nunnery with the relationship attempt.

Think about Abelard and Heloise. If you are a boy, think very hard about Abelard. (Castrated for knocking up his student Heloise.) If a girl, think how Heloise pined like forever, but that monk (balls-free, no mystery here) refused to be drawn into the romantic fairy tales.

Heloise named her baby Astrolabe. Cool. A science geek. He became a monk also, Heloise an abbess. So much for scarlet letters. And I'm sure a science geek could find plenty of like-minded companions in that nunnery.

Poor Ophelia. Straight girls just can't imagine how much FUN it can be to be a NUN.

Get thee to a nunnery? Dude, I'm there. I am sooo there.

I'd do Sister Betrille. (Ancient TV show about a nun with a hat so enormous she could fly. Sally Field--cute and nickel will get you massive career.) Not to denigrate Ms. Field's worthiness in receiving accolades fame fortune.

Wasn't it she who played Sybil? Gotta break gotta break gotta break glass. Now read it was highly fictionalized.

I'm not a nun. I have been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. So maybe I'm a nun in a fugue state. But mostly I'm a crank.

I'm 50 years old and I had to take a class to figure out how to figure out who I am. I think because too many mes (plural of me) and I hit overload and tilt. Just when I think I know, I do something inconsistant. Anomolous. And other words I cannot spell.

I'm dyslexic with numbers. I have vast trouble with dichotomies: choices of one or the other. Yes or no. 0 or 1. Simple yet so hard. Left and right. They keep reversing then going back again.

I'm told I'm a character because of where Uranus sits on my chart. What is it about the word Uranus that elicits a giggle...I've heard all the puns n jokes yet or because of, in memorium of laughter past. Maybe how to keep a marriage alive.

Patterns. I leap then I look. Not because I'm brave or even stupid (though I can fake those).

There are things I dread doing. This is one of them. I push and push and I can't push myself anymore...

We create our worlds.

I created Nathamlin. Don't tell anyone.

It's all material. You're lucky if you're a writer because even the worst shit is just material, fodder, gold. If you can spin it well. Hey, I like that.