We called Her The Ferret

Yeah, she did have sharp features. A face tapering forward, needle-nosed, sharp-eyed. Not ugly, sort of normal-looking. Like aristocrats can have that horsey look, but still not be dogs.

Only it was more her ferret-like personality that gained her the nickname.

I remember she'd brag daily about how many hours she'd spent studying, and challenge you on how many YOU'D spent. I think she spoke to me because others turned from her. I was so friendless I would never even turn from a ferret. I felt it was my duty to learn how to socialize with these future lawyers, like as much of my training as any class I took, and much more difficult.

I like to think I have a form of Autism. Even as a child, the first time I read about autism I was like "THAT'S ME!" And then that movie? I mean, I didn't spin plates and I talked but the way the minds of those autistic kids worked? Now, I've never had any sort of diagnosis so I can't claim any Aspergers title.

I have too many diagnoses as it is. I don't want anymore.

It doesn't seem like treating any of them has solved anything.

It's like there's an Initial Treatment Syndrome. No matter what your illness is diagnosed as, simply being treated...treated with ANYTHING...getting out of whatever unhealthy space you've been decaying in...does seem to help.

But only for a little while.

You get tired of trying AGAIN. You don't want another pill..."OH PATIENT X JUST SOOO TURNED AROUND ON THIS"

Woop dee doo for Patient X. Shoot me now.

Because you know Patient X has advantages and you have no idea how she got them or why you never have. It's not gold you want, only a reason to keep living.

To be or not to be...isn't that the question?